1-Minute Discipline Magic

By Mary Mohler

Rated by 37 people

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A fast fix so simple and effective, you'll see better behavior in 60 seconds flat.

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• 60 Seconds to Correcting Bad Behavior
• 30-40 Seconds

• 0-10 Seconds
• 40-50 Seconds

• 10-20 Seconds
• 50-60 Seconds

• 20-30 Seconds

60 Seconds to Correcting Bad Behavior

Your 2-year-old wrote on the wall with lipstick; your 5-year-old helped herself to a cookie after you said no; you caught your 7-year-old in a lie. Your first inclination is to explode, but you've made a resolution to be more patient. Besides, you know that when you lose it, you end up apologetic and defensive. What you need is a game plan. The 60-Second Discipline Plan is not a specific method of discipline, like giving time-outs.

Rather, it's an overall strategy--one that focuses not on the child's misbehavior but on your response to it. If you use the 60-Second format, the consequences you impose will be more effective. You'll be in control, your child will know what to expect, and you'll be sure that you're modeling what you actually want her to learn. Here are the six simple steps.

• 0-10 Seconds

Source:

http://www.parents.com/toddlers/development/discipline-spanking/1-minute-discipline-magic/?sssdmh=dm17.324060&esrc=nwpcb02_09&email=201779094

Q+A: How Can I Stop My Toddler's Tantrums?

By Claire Lerner, Zero to Three

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What to do to make the screaming stop.

Q. My 18-month-old has started having tantrums whenever I say no to him. The other day at the store, I didn't let him push the stroller -- he couldn't see where he was going and would've run into people. He screamed his head off. What can I do?

A. Congratulations, you've entered the toddler years! This means your 18-month-old is pretty much immune to distraction techniques. He knows what he wants and has the know-how and physical skills to work toward the goals he sets for himself. But he is not yet a logical or rational being -- so forget any strategies that include reasoning with him.

First, pat yourself on the back for doing such a great parenting job. You have clearly nurtured your son's self-confidence and eagerness to learn, two ingredients vital for his healthy development. But curious, confident kids can also be a handful because they want to do everything by themselves. The good news is that there is a lot you can do to encourage your son's growing independence while keeping him safe and keeping yourself sane:

• Offer alternatives. If your son wants to push the stroller but is a danger to himself and others, explain that in stores only grown-ups can push strollers. Tell him that he can push the stroller in the park or backyard when you get home. Or get him a toy stroller that he can navigate while you push the big one.

• Be his coach. When he's frustrated because he can't do it himself, label his feelings: "It makes you so mad when you can't get the block in the right hole!" Then introduce him to the word "help." Give him the assistance he needs to master the challenge without doing it all for him. Hold your hand over his, for instance, as you drop the square block into the square hole. That will help him feel like he's been part of the solution.

• Let your child practice new skills, within limits. If your son wants, say, to pour his own milk, pull a stool up to the sink and let him try to pour from a child-size plastic pitcher. If that's not possible, explain that you will pour the milk, but that after breakfast he can pour water from plastic cups either outdoors or in the tub.

• Invite him to be your helper. Involve your son in real tasks: At home, he can pitch in with mixing pancake batter or tossing laundry into the dryer; at the store, he can count out the apples as he drops them into the bag you're holding.

Rebecca Parlakian, also of Zero to Three, contributed to this column.

Copyright © 2008. Used with permission from the May 2008 issue of American Baby magazine.

Source:

http://www.parents.com/toddlers/development/behavioral/stopping-toddlers-tantrums/?sssdmh=dm17.315678&esrc=nwpcb47&email=201779094

All About Time-Outs

By Kate Kelly

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The whys and hows of executing an effective time-out.

Pages in this story

• What Is a Time-Out?
• Biggest Time-Out Mistakes


• The Right Way to Give a Time-Out

What Is a Time-Out?

If you're the parent of a toddler or preschooler, chances are that time-out is one of your frequent discipline strategies. And if you're like many parents, you may lament that it doesn't really work. Time-out is misunderstood and misused, but used correctly, it can be an effective tool to change behavior, according to Dana Chidekel, PhD, author of Parents in Charge (Simon & Schuster). Here's how to do it right.

Time-out is a term from sports and it's meant to be used in the same way, says Chidekel. The coach doesn't wait until the game is lost to call a time-out. He uses it as an opportunity for the team to regroup and get back into balance before everything falls apart. That's how parents should think of it--as a way for their child to regain equilibrium before he falls apart. The goal is to help children learn to regulate their own behavior.

• The Right Way to Give a Time-Out

Source: http://www.parents.com/toddlers/development/discipline-spanking/child-time-outs/?sssdmh=dm17.311129&esrc=nwpce43r&email=201779094

The Fun Mom's Guide to Discipline

By Jody Mace

Rated by 31 people

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No yelling, no time-outs, just some silly games to get your kids to do the right thing.

Pages in this story

• "Freeze!"
• Breaking & Opening


• Taking Turns & Exploring
• Pocket the "Sillies"

"Freeze!"

I don't remember what lapse in judgment led me to take my two young children to a store that featured hundreds of breakable knickknacks, a pinch-faced clerk, and a "You Break, You Buy" sign. What I do remember is grabbing my 3-year-old Charlie's hand at the tail end of an expansive gesture and rescuing several glass dolphins from certain extinction. Desperate to escape the store without any accidents, I told Charlie and his 6-year-old sister, Kyla, to "walk like Grandpa," a man who never takes a step without his hands clasped behind his back. Why he does this we have no idea. Improbably, the "Walk Like Grandpa" maneuver worked -- and helped us survive many more shopping expeditions or, more accurately, helped many shops survive us.

That day, I realized some of Kyla and Charlie's worst behavior could be avoided with a few fun games. None of the ideas I came up with needed rule books or fancy equipment. But they worked, and they elicited plenty of giggles along the way.

Problem Behavior: Not Listening

There's nothing scarier than seeing your toddler heading straight into the street, oblivious to the fact that you're yelling "Stop!" at the top of your lungs. Or spotting your little kid pulling a sharp knife off the counter, ignoring your cry of "No!" I confess that I overused those commands, so "stop" and "no" became white noise.

Fun Solution: Borrowing an idea from an old party activity, I cranked up the music and danced around with the kids. Then I switched it off and said, "Freeze!" We all froze. When they got really good at it, I tried it without music. Sure, we looked silly dancing around to the sound of silence, but soon, if I said "Freeze!" they stopped cold. Next we practiced in the outside world. I saved "no" and "stop" for nonemergencies like Charlie's putting eggs in his pocket or Kyla's poking her fingers in my ears. "Freeze" become our safe word -- one they associated with a fun game, so they didn't feel like defying (or ignoring) me when they heard it. Most important, it bought me just enough time to get to the kid who was in danger and scoop him up before anything bad happened.

• Taking Turns & Exploring

Discipline
Wisdom for raising children in today's culture

General Discipline
Help Your Child Behave
Taming the Tattletale
The Damaging Effects of Tale-Bearing


Approaches to Discipline
Does Spanking Work for All Kids?
To Spank or Not to Spank
The Essentials of a Healthy Home
Challenges in the Teen Years

The Strong-Willed Child
How to Shape Your Child's Will
The New Strong-Willed Child
Next Steps / Related Information